My unfinished version of "Gardener's House at Antibes":
Three different studies of "Hills, South Truro", the first two from last week, and the last from this week:
Thursday, April 7, 2016
In the Galleries - Weeks 4 and 5
Two different pieces this week, one a re-do of Week 4's piece, Edward Hopper's "Hills, South Truro" and another of Claude Monet's "Gardener's House at Antibes". The latter was a lot of fun, and I thought I captured the feel fairly well given that I was using very different materials (pastel sticks on sandpaper rather than oil on canvas). I didn't have time to finish it (no trees on right, for example), but
My unfinished version of "Gardener's House at Antibes":
Three different studies of "Hills, South Truro", the first two from last week, and the last from this week:
My unfinished version of "Gardener's House at Antibes":
Three different studies of "Hills, South Truro", the first two from last week, and the last from this week:
Monday, March 14, 2016
In the Galleries - Week 1
While not doing pitch contests and running my international software business, I have signed up for another art class. This one is called Drawing in the Galleries, which means I get to spend one morning a week in the galleries of the magnificent Cleveland Museum of Art, drawing stuff. We are starting with charcoal drawing, which is new to me. The instructor is new to me as well. (Part of the reason I take different art classes is because every instructor has a different approach, so I learn more and get to pick and choose which I use when I.)
This instructor likes to start with form, or "masses". Basically the heaviest stuff. She then moves us to tone (light and dark). With charcoal, you can basically make the form all somewhat dark and then lighten parts with an eraser and darken other parts with heavier charcoal.
We started in the Egyptian Gallery, and worked on a statue of a bull which stands in the middle of the room. It is the Apis Bull, for those curious. Here is my drawing, done on cheap newsprint paper.
Afterwards, we were encouraged to find another piece of our own choosing. I chose the Seated Pair Statue, because I thought it was cool how they looked so formal, but still have their arms around each other. This was done on a higher quality paper which we prepped by rubbing charcoal all over it. (Lots of fun. Like fingerpainting for artists.) The faces were hard to capture off a statue, but I feel good about the tone.
This instructor likes to start with form, or "masses". Basically the heaviest stuff. She then moves us to tone (light and dark). With charcoal, you can basically make the form all somewhat dark and then lighten parts with an eraser and darken other parts with heavier charcoal.
We started in the Egyptian Gallery, and worked on a statue of a bull which stands in the middle of the room. It is the Apis Bull, for those curious. Here is my drawing, done on cheap newsprint paper.
Afterwards, we were encouraged to find another piece of our own choosing. I chose the Seated Pair Statue, because I thought it was cool how they looked so formal, but still have their arms around each other. This was done on a higher quality paper which we prepped by rubbing charcoal all over it. (Lots of fun. Like fingerpainting for artists.) The faces were hard to capture off a statue, but I feel good about the tone.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Pitch Madness - Lessons learned
As anybody following me on Twitter can't have missed, I participated in Pitch Madness this year. It was my first Twitter/online pitch contest, and I mostly did it for the experience. I had fun and might do it again, though I fully expect to get an agent the old fashioned way through queries and patience.
In any case, the entire experience was tremendously enlightening, so I thought I'd write down a few of the lessons learned. I wrote ten of them on Twitter, but will expand a bit more here for those interested (and so I remember for later).
These are just as I tweeted them (minus "#PitchMadness Lessons learned"), with additional commentary:
1) Your title is the first part of your hook. Make it snappy, intriguing and appropriate to genre/age.
There are titles that just jumped out among the winners. Titles such as "My Paper Route and Other Deadly Things" and "Daisy Kincaid and the Time Travel Shoppe" and "The Road to Dusty Death". All of a sudden, my perfectly serviceable "Reach for the Sky" sounds dull. I realized that for middle grade, I need something that intrigues and excites. I think I am going to change to "Danger Tastes Dreadful", which was suggested by Chris Garson from my writer's group. It has several different meanings for the story itself, and I think it has much more of a hook.
2) A 35 word pitch isn't just a Twitter pitch. You need to communicate voice & writing ability with the hook
From the teasers and from the interviews posted by @DaemosChronicle, it was clear that some people just used a Twitter pitch they had created earlier for their 35 word pitch. It was also clear that the slush readers were not impressed by that.
Also, and this really deserves its own tweet but I forgot, your hook can include comps. If saying "PRINCESS BRIDE meets DRACULA" communicates a lot about your book, use it. Association is powerful in all pitches, and agents really do respond to those associations.
3) The first 250 words of your story matter, and not just for contests. Make them stand out and pull reader in
There were several teaser comments that made me scramble back to my first page to make sure I wasn't making this or that mistake... or that I was doing this or that thing. For example, while my stakes don't become clear that early, I added some foreshadowing to suggest the stakes.
4) Unless you are writing about weather gods or rewriting The Tempest, skip the weather report at beginning.
Fortunately, I didn't do this, but it was mentioned by multiple slush readers.
5) Know your word counts, and don't try to be the exception. You aren't JK Rowling... yet.
While I still live in fear that my word count is too high or low, at least I can tell I am in the right ballpark... and that some people aren't.
6) Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds redux. Mix up your writing style even in first 250 wds.
While this is something I learned long ago in a general sense, the hints about this in teasers reminded me that I better make sure it was evident on my first page. I didn't alter much, but it definitely reads better with the tweaks I made.
7) Unless you are writing about dream elves in Brooklyn, don't start with dream sequence.
Not in mine, but at least a couple of authors were scrambling after this advice.
8) If the pitch, or worse, the first page, don't make clear who your MC is, the pitch will be a strike.
This one seems obvious, but clearly it isn't. I think one of the problems is people who use a Twitter pitch or logline for the 35 word pitch. In those, roles are preferred to names, but in a 35 word pitch, you have enough (even if it is hard to believe you do) to introduce the main character and give a sense of him/her/it.
9) Unless you are writing about vampires, keep your stakes in plain view. Also, don't write about vampires.
This advice (well, without the vampire bit) was repeated frequently. Make the stakes clear in your 35 word pitch. That pitch needs to a) introduce your character, b) make the reader care about your character, c) make the stakes for your character clear, and d) make it clear that you can write a story about that character. Sounds tough, but YOU ARE A WRITER. You can do it.
10) A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. So, make it a good one, but not your last or only one.
Whether or not you made it into the draft for Pitch Madness, this is simply a step in your journey. If there is one thing I have learned about writing, it is that authors always tend to focus on the next step as if it is the last. If you choose to go with traditional publishing, you have to:
a) have an idea;
b) write the book;
c) rewrite and polish;
d) find a way to get an agent;
e) negotiate a contract;
f) work with the agent;
g) work on building a platform so that you can support both marketing and your readers;
h) deal with offers for publication; and
i) have an idea for a next book.
Rinse and repeat. Also, the steps don't usually go in that order. You may write a few books before you get an agent. You should probably work on your platform before the book is sold, and preferably before you have an agent.
In any case, the entire experience was tremendously enlightening, so I thought I'd write down a few of the lessons learned. I wrote ten of them on Twitter, but will expand a bit more here for those interested (and so I remember for later).
These are just as I tweeted them (minus "#PitchMadness Lessons learned"), with additional commentary:
1) Your title is the first part of your hook. Make it snappy, intriguing and appropriate to genre/age.
There are titles that just jumped out among the winners. Titles such as "My Paper Route and Other Deadly Things" and "Daisy Kincaid and the Time Travel Shoppe" and "The Road to Dusty Death". All of a sudden, my perfectly serviceable "Reach for the Sky" sounds dull. I realized that for middle grade, I need something that intrigues and excites. I think I am going to change to "Danger Tastes Dreadful", which was suggested by Chris Garson from my writer's group. It has several different meanings for the story itself, and I think it has much more of a hook.
2) A 35 word pitch isn't just a Twitter pitch. You need to communicate voice & writing ability with the hook
From the teasers and from the interviews posted by @DaemosChronicle, it was clear that some people just used a Twitter pitch they had created earlier for their 35 word pitch. It was also clear that the slush readers were not impressed by that.
Also, and this really deserves its own tweet but I forgot, your hook can include comps. If saying "PRINCESS BRIDE meets DRACULA" communicates a lot about your book, use it. Association is powerful in all pitches, and agents really do respond to those associations.
3) The first 250 words of your story matter, and not just for contests. Make them stand out and pull reader in
There were several teaser comments that made me scramble back to my first page to make sure I wasn't making this or that mistake... or that I was doing this or that thing. For example, while my stakes don't become clear that early, I added some foreshadowing to suggest the stakes.
4) Unless you are writing about weather gods or rewriting The Tempest, skip the weather report at beginning.
Fortunately, I didn't do this, but it was mentioned by multiple slush readers.
5) Know your word counts, and don't try to be the exception. You aren't JK Rowling... yet.
While I still live in fear that my word count is too high or low, at least I can tell I am in the right ballpark... and that some people aren't.
6) Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds redux. Mix up your writing style even in first 250 wds.
While this is something I learned long ago in a general sense, the hints about this in teasers reminded me that I better make sure it was evident on my first page. I didn't alter much, but it definitely reads better with the tweaks I made.
7) Unless you are writing about dream elves in Brooklyn, don't start with dream sequence.
Not in mine, but at least a couple of authors were scrambling after this advice.
8) If the pitch, or worse, the first page, don't make clear who your MC is, the pitch will be a strike.
This one seems obvious, but clearly it isn't. I think one of the problems is people who use a Twitter pitch or logline for the 35 word pitch. In those, roles are preferred to names, but in a 35 word pitch, you have enough (even if it is hard to believe you do) to introduce the main character and give a sense of him/her/it.
9) Unless you are writing about vampires, keep your stakes in plain view. Also, don't write about vampires.
This advice (well, without the vampire bit) was repeated frequently. Make the stakes clear in your 35 word pitch. That pitch needs to a) introduce your character, b) make the reader care about your character, c) make the stakes for your character clear, and d) make it clear that you can write a story about that character. Sounds tough, but YOU ARE A WRITER. You can do it.
10) A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. So, make it a good one, but not your last or only one.
Whether or not you made it into the draft for Pitch Madness, this is simply a step in your journey. If there is one thing I have learned about writing, it is that authors always tend to focus on the next step as if it is the last. If you choose to go with traditional publishing, you have to:
a) have an idea;
b) write the book;
c) rewrite and polish;
d) find a way to get an agent;
e) negotiate a contract;
f) work with the agent;
g) work on building a platform so that you can support both marketing and your readers;
h) deal with offers for publication; and
i) have an idea for a next book.
Rinse and repeat. Also, the steps don't usually go in that order. You may write a few books before you get an agent. You should probably work on your platform before the book is sold, and preferably before you have an agent.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Pitch Madness - Hopping in feet first
With my middle grade fantasy, Danger Tastes Dreadful, finally ready for querying, I am jumping in feet first with a Twitter challenge called Pitch Madness. Since this is also an opportunity to meet some fellow authors swimming along with me in the waters that are not nearly infested enough with agents.
Welcome, fellow authors. Below I offer the briefest of excerpts from my book. Bernie and Tish are the 11 year old trolls who are the main characters in my novel:
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Self portrait - making some real progress
My self portrait from art class today. I feel really good about this. The mouth seems a little off, but that is what I looked like in the mirror. I especially like how the glasses worked with the white. It was interesting doing this on dark paper, as it make the highlight very different. I am going to try photographing it again later with my wife's Galaxy 5, as that seems to do a better job than our camera with darker shots. Regardless, I feel like this is a great improvement over some of my past self portraits.
You keep working at something, and you actually start to get better. Amazing.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Dear Francisca Montague (draft query letter)
The truth is, I'm not quite ready to query. Close, but not there. I am going through "Reach for the Sky" on another polishing run, and soliciting feedback from beta readers. So, if you happen to be an agent and just can't wait to request a full on this, sorry. (Though do let me know, so I can query the heck out of you when it is ready!)
I am close enough to be serious about the query letter. I've gone through some revisions, but this is probably what I will use, or something like it. Just thought I'd share in case anybody is curious or has any feedback.
Dear Francisca Montague: [or whomever - never just say 'agent']
Trolls are tough. Trolls are strong. Trolls are fearless. Well, except for Bernie. Bernie is eleven, timid and enjoys munching on beetles. When he tastes danger in the air, his parents won’t pay any attention. His best friend, Tish, is clever and obsessed with rocks, and she thinks that anything dangerous sounds like fun. Boy, is she ever wrong.
When giants destroy the bridge over Bernie’s home and carry off Bernie’s parents and Tish’s Granny Mac, Bernie and Tish must journey to Mount Dreadful alone and find a way to rescue their loved ones, though neither knows how two young trolls can fight giants ten times their size.
Inside Mount Dreadful's murky caverns, the trolls will learn that size doesn’t always matter, that fears can be overcome, that protecting people sometimes means risking yourself, and that when fiery dragons take to the sky, no one is safe.
Complete at 32,000 words, REACH FOR THE SKY is a middle grade fantasy. This is my first novel, though I have published short stories for both children and adults. The first ten pages of REACH FOR THE SKY are included below. [If this agent's submission guidelines say so - always follow the guidelines!]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Best regards,
Ben Langhinrichs
[contact info, blog and social media stuff]
I am close enough to be serious about the query letter. I've gone through some revisions, but this is probably what I will use, or something like it. Just thought I'd share in case anybody is curious or has any feedback.
Dear Francisca Montague: [or whomever - never just say 'agent']
Trolls are tough. Trolls are strong. Trolls are fearless. Well, except for Bernie. Bernie is eleven, timid and enjoys munching on beetles. When he tastes danger in the air, his parents won’t pay any attention. His best friend, Tish, is clever and obsessed with rocks, and she thinks that anything dangerous sounds like fun. Boy, is she ever wrong.
When giants destroy the bridge over Bernie’s home and carry off Bernie’s parents and Tish’s Granny Mac, Bernie and Tish must journey to Mount Dreadful alone and find a way to rescue their loved ones, though neither knows how two young trolls can fight giants ten times their size.
Inside Mount Dreadful's murky caverns, the trolls will learn that size doesn’t always matter, that fears can be overcome, that protecting people sometimes means risking yourself, and that when fiery dragons take to the sky, no one is safe.
Complete at 32,000 words, REACH FOR THE SKY is a middle grade fantasy. This is my first novel, though I have published short stories for both children and adults. The first ten pages of REACH FOR THE SKY are included below. [If this agent's submission guidelines say so - always follow the guidelines!]
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Best regards,
Ben Langhinrichs
[contact info, blog and social media stuff]
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Book Queries - so much to learn and so many mistakes to make
I feel as if I have been reading about the query process for years, and yet there is always more. A fellow member of my small writing group is also working on his query letter. His book is for a similar, though slightly older, age group, but it is a far different book. In any case, he has also been reading QueryShark and other sites.
The biggest mistakes that I have seen out there in query examples, aside from writing a book that nobody wants to publish because the market is saturated with vampires or the plot is way too similar to Harry Potter:
1) Not knowing what your book is really about. This sounds bizarre, but there do seem to be a number of people who write a whole lot about some characters without ever really grasping that there needs to be a real plot. If you don't have that plot, the query seems to ramble on about either the author or the kind of characters, but never communicate a sense of urgency or a sense of the stakes in the story for the MC. Often, the author wanted "to write a book" rather than write this book.
2) Inability to sell the story. This is far more common, and may happen even with a great book. Whether through paralysis or carelessness or something else, the author seems to say: Trust me, it's a great book, so I shouldn't have to describe it. Just read it. (As a software developer, this is akin to software companies that can't describe their products, but simply want you to discover it for yourself. I've never once bought software sold that way.)
3) Rushed and sloppy. An author may spend years writing a book, but then whips off a query letter and sends it, warts and all. Again, hard for me to believe, but it happens a lot. Usually, this is followed by zero offers for representation and the book being self-published filled with typos.
4) Arrogance. Some authors are convinced that the world should grovel at their feet because they wrote the masterpiece of all masterpieces, unique among books. Somehow, this comes through in a query letter.
5) The query doesn't follow the submission rules. While some agents may overlook some minor infractions, most seem to have too many queries to start with and are looking for queries to cull. If the agent has posted clear rules and the query doesn't follow them, it significantly raises the chance that the author will be a slightly better controlled version of #5.
There are obviously many other reasons why an agent will pass on a query, not all of which are "mistakes". They may have too many like that one, or it may not sound like a voice they like, or they may have had too much coffee and feel unable to read that afternoon. Your query may not be significantly flawed, but it is probably a good idea to assume it might be if nobody is asking for partials or fulls or showing any interest at all.
The biggest mistakes that I have seen out there in query examples, aside from writing a book that nobody wants to publish because the market is saturated with vampires or the plot is way too similar to Harry Potter:
1) Not knowing what your book is really about. This sounds bizarre, but there do seem to be a number of people who write a whole lot about some characters without ever really grasping that there needs to be a real plot. If you don't have that plot, the query seems to ramble on about either the author or the kind of characters, but never communicate a sense of urgency or a sense of the stakes in the story for the MC. Often, the author wanted "to write a book" rather than write this book.
2) Inability to sell the story. This is far more common, and may happen even with a great book. Whether through paralysis or carelessness or something else, the author seems to say: Trust me, it's a great book, so I shouldn't have to describe it. Just read it. (As a software developer, this is akin to software companies that can't describe their products, but simply want you to discover it for yourself. I've never once bought software sold that way.)
3) Rushed and sloppy. An author may spend years writing a book, but then whips off a query letter and sends it, warts and all. Again, hard for me to believe, but it happens a lot. Usually, this is followed by zero offers for representation and the book being self-published filled with typos.
4) Arrogance. Some authors are convinced that the world should grovel at their feet because they wrote the masterpiece of all masterpieces, unique among books. Somehow, this comes through in a query letter.
5) The query doesn't follow the submission rules. While some agents may overlook some minor infractions, most seem to have too many queries to start with and are looking for queries to cull. If the agent has posted clear rules and the query doesn't follow them, it significantly raises the chance that the author will be a slightly better controlled version of #5.
There are obviously many other reasons why an agent will pass on a query, not all of which are "mistakes". They may have too many like that one, or it may not sound like a voice they like, or they may have had too much coffee and feel unable to read that afternoon. Your query may not be significantly flawed, but it is probably a good idea to assume it might be if nobody is asking for partials or fulls or showing any interest at all.
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